Three years ago, I had no hope. I wanted to crawl into a corner and never wake up. BUT, I had a son to raise. I had food to put on the table. I had bills that needed tending to. The laundry needed done. And day by day, week by week, I did the mundane to get them done. It happened rather slow, but, along the way, I gained back that WILL to survive. I regained the desire to live and to enjoy life. It was probably six months or so before I could smile again and not be faking it. I fixed what needed fixed with the house and the yard and the garden. I gave hugs, I fixed skinned knees, and I made sure my son’s home work was getting done. I did make sure he was held accountable for his actions, and for doing his chores and such.
The one thing that dangled in the back ground, was hope. I know I said I had none, but, if I hadn’t any, it would have been all over. Some how, some way, I knew, that by exiting my marriage, that I would be able to regain the person I once was. Certainly, I would not see that younger me, but, the spirit that I was, would come back within reach, and we would combine to be, the older, wiser, warmer, funnier me. I had been missing, Me, for some time and I had to find a way to retrieve, even a small bit of whom I once was.
That is what you MUST hold onto. HOPE. It is there, and you can find your way to it, and heal along the way.
“So, where in the world do I start. I know that life as I knew it ended on September 2nd, 2008. That was the day that my husband walked away from everything. That was the day that I had to be stronger than I had ever been.”
That is the first paragraph of my book, “Divorce, Girlfriends, Phone Calls and Why He Makes Me Sick!” From there to now, the world changed a whole lot. Hold onto that!!!!!!