Yesterday I was browsing the local paper. I went into the obits. to make sure I was still kicking. I found I was not there, and it was pretty ok to take that nap that was nagging at my eyeballs. As I scrolled down the page, I found my kids Great grandmother. Needless to say, my nap was delayed, and my nerves were shocked into motion. I was on the phone to my son immediately. He had only just found out that morning. And to make it even harder, his father never did tell him. He had over heard his dad on the phone. My heart went out to him. He was hurting, and he thought perhaps I was angry with him. At least, that is what I perceived. I wanted to give him a great big ‘ole hug and take the hurt away. I apologized for upsetting him and hung up to reach for a tissue.
If my son had not been told, that meant, my daughter had not been either. She being, the up and coming, new writer, that has joined me here on this blog. I picked the phone back up and called her. She was in a good mood to hear my voice. But, it soon faded to the news that I brought to her ears. She slowly evaporated, and as we hung up, I could hear the tears choking her voice. I texted a bit later to see if she had called her dad. She informed me she was upset with him, and would not call at the moment. I reminded her, she needed to call to find out when the service was, so she could, once again, skip work, and come back home for a couple of days.
I don’t know if she ever did….the evening faded and I stoked a cooling stove and crawled into my pajamas for a bit of rest.
I find myself drawn to say something about this woman. My children’s great grandma. A warm, inviting soul of a woman. She had previous marriages that I know very little about. But, her last, I got to see blossom for 17 years, as I was involved with her grandson. When my ex and I became involved, Babs(as I will call her for this article), and L.(her husband), had been together for around 17 years or so. Their marriage, if memory serves correctly, was the third for both of them. And, such light that bloomed from them, was apparent for all to view. They perceived their grandkids as miracles and loved each and every one of them with an amazing—-shall we say—hootspa! My Ex and I only saw them a few times a year, but, it was always to hugs and laughter and warmth. Christmas Eve was a requirement. It was not the gifts that drew us each season, it was the singing, the laughter, the pizza, the home-made bread…..that time to catch up with all the cousins and sisters and of course Babs and L. We got to reconnect. And that was important for the Ex…..and even I agree that it was a good thing. Families should redevise how they feel about one another, and feel the magic of love for one another.( At least once a year)
Babs and L donated several fixtures to our home. Even to this day, those items help to power plug ends that I need electrified at various times of the day. L used to own a hotel, and when he remodeled it years ago, he saved a lot of things. And to keep the cost of construction down in our home, L came to our rescue and donated outlets and door handles and even time to install them. Bless him. To this day, when a door does not open easily, I laugh a little to myself, because L was so proud to help out. And now, I have to jiggle the handle a bit to get it to turn and release. Some day I need to replace them, but, for now….I honor their memory by slamming into the door when things don’t open on time….and my momentum takes me to the wood.
Babs was a knitter and sewer. It was an honor to slip into one of her sweaters. Although, for me, minutes later I was scratching and pulling it off. They were wool, and I was allergic. I just had to have a t-shirt underneath. I could not resist wearing the sweaters…..they were warm and sturdy and made with love. My favorite was a robe she made me. Floor length, soft blue fleece with a long zipper in the front. It was full of holes before I relented to disposing of it. And by this time, her poor fingers were tired and she no longer was designing. My son still has a sweater some where, and I need to remember to locate it and preserve it in a plastic bag for him for later.
As for the Ex, he of course, has held onto everything they ever gave him and he treasures each and everything they passed his way. Whether it was advice or a hug….it was and is a treasure to him. I am so sorry for his loss. They were his anchor and a lot of his strength. I do not know how he feels or how he is dealing. He has not returned my text for when the funeral is. If he ever gets a chance to see this, I hope he knows how sorry I am for his loss.
So, layed to rest, my kids great grandparents. People that made the world a little bit brighter, a little bit lighter. People that helped when you asked. Strong souls that slipped into the unknown on their own terms. Bless them for bringing smiles to many many people…….. and even to me. God rest their souls!